Enemies and Side Pieces

11 Dec
This is just a misunderstanding. The treadmill is not your enemy, despite this guy's unfortunate incidence. Courtesy of Tumblr

This is just a misunderstanding. The treadmill is not your enemy, despite this guy’s misfortune.
Courtesy of Tumblr

When you’re an able-bodied person who’s not exactly physically fit, one of the hardest mental hurdles you’ll have to jump is realizing that there are things you’re capable of doing. You’ll tell yourself over and over again that walking up stairs gets you out of breath. Parking the car further away seems like a waste of time. Baked chicken is OK, but the winner will always be fried yardbird.

You’ve essentially made exercise your enemy and fattening food your side piece.

It’s easy to see exercise as the enemy. You end up sweating, hurting, aching and, occasionally, smelling. You have to set aside time in the day to physically exert yourself. If exercise hasn’t been a part of your lifestyle in, like, ever, the idea of physical activity could turn you into a rage monster.

“Why do I have to work out in order to lose weight?” you might ask yourself.

The answer is: you don’t. Exercise is an added bonus to the weight-loss process. My homie Dr. Ian Smith said it best:

Imagine owning an expensive sports car that can top speeds of 100 mph and more in just a matter of seconds. Now imagine four flat tires on that shiny red sports car. How fast do you think that car will be able to go now? The engine is fine, the tank is full of gas, and all of the electrical components of the car are like new. But with four flat tires that sports car will move up the road slower than a 10-ton cement truck. This is exactly what it’s like to diet without exercise. You need to have both working together to get the best results.

—Extreme Fat Smash Diet, 2007

Seeing exercise as the enemy can only hold you back. It is a good companion to take with you on your journey. Exercise likes to do the things you like to do. Sure, you enjoy Netflix marathons and naps, but maybe you also enjoy nature. Walking (exercise) can give you a better glimpse of it. Maybe you like lounging on the beach. Swimming (exercise) loves the beach. Or maybe you just really enjoy peace and serenity. Have you met my good friend yoga (exercise)?

Before labeling exercise your enemy, get to know it. Try to understand the activities that work best with your lifestyle and personality. Your enemy can become your best friend when you’re trying to lose the pounds.

Not as good a friend as your current side piece: fattening food. While you and exercise may have a relationship based on misunderstanding, you and and your dietary companion may need to think about a trial separation.

We’ve all taken health class. We’ve all heard our doctors tell us that the pizza, McDonald’s and Popeye’s aren’t doing us any good. But just like Pookie and his crack, it just keeps calling us.

Let me be your sponsor and tell you to let the bad food go. Make dishes like brown rice and sauteed fish your main boo. It’s hard to remain monogamous to the food that’s doing you right when the food that does you wrong is so tempting. But remember that the bad food is a side piece. It knows its place.

It knows that soon you’ll get tired of the runaround and have to choose. And after turning exercise from an enemy into a friend, you won’t want to cheat on your main boo. You’ll want to do right because it feels good to you. There will always be another fast-food restaurant or cream-covered casseroles to tempt you away. It will be on you to make your good-food main boo stick around.

How have you contended with exercise as your enemy? What’s your favorite side piece (mine is Popeye’s)?

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