Tag Archives: dance

What I Learned From the MTV VMAs

25 Aug

beyonce_vmasLike the BET Awards, the VMAs offer amazing spectacle. So before I get to the main event, let’s discuss Mrs. Carter’s opening acts.

* I’m an old. Anything that I watch on MTV, I watch on demand or stream it. So I had no clue what channel MTV is anymore.

* I actually like Ariana Grande. I’d like her more if I could understand some of the things she’s saying

* Nicki’s anaconda actually bit someone. Well, not exactly her anaconda—her boa constrictor. I didn’t even know boa constrictors bit people. So it was safe to say her reptile was fired and we wouldn’t have a repeat of Britney’s snake dance. And that was OK because it wasn’t necessary. The dancers dressed as snakes and Nicki’s mesmerizing derrier did enough. Not enough to empress J.Lo, but enough.

* Jessie J is such a great singer and performer. I really hope “Bang Bang” does it for her. And it was cool to see different body types on on stage together. Sure, they’re all very small with waists snatched to the gods, but they’re still shaped differently and looked like they were having a ball. Even, Nicki, who couldn’t get her clothes right.

* Gwen Stefani has joined the list of people who has been bathing in unicorn tears and drying her hair with angel wings. The woman wakes up everyday and says, “I rebuke you, age!!”

* Katy Perry beat Beyonce with “Dark Horse.” I’m an admitted “Dark Horse” fan, but come on!

* About a half hour in, and I was already anxious for Beyonce’s performance. While Jessie J, Nicki Minaj and Ariana Grande were fun, the three of them together are still no Beyonce.

* Taylor Swift performed, and I’m all, “Look! Goldfish crackers!” It’s not that I hate Tay-Tay (that’s too strong of an emotion). I’m over her. Plus, I liked the song better when it was 3LW singing it. (Shout out to Adrienne Bailon)

* By this time, it became apparent to me and several others on Twitter that the VMAs were much better when we were kids. *Busts out rocking chair* Back in my day, that Jim Carey/Jeff Daniels bit would have been hilarious. That kind of thing falls on the deaf ears of kids who were born after the first “Dumb and Dumber” was made.

* Kim Kardashian is friends with Sam Smith? I have questions. But…

* Common made sure we all took a moment of silence for Mike Brown and Ferguson. I’m nothing but appreciative of that.

* Apparently Drake couldn’t make it to the awards because he was still reeling from that hurt Nicki put on him in the “Anaconda” video.


* Uzo Aduba smacking herself in the head was great! The smoothing out of the hair was even better. The ladies of Litchfield brought out Usher, who reminded us all that he works hard for a performance. Even if it means fake playing a bass guitar and sweating through his white clothes. And Nicki wore more clothes that don’t fit—a trend for her last night.


* Lorde walked up to accept her award and did Lorde things. Because she’s Lorde and that’s just what she does.

* The Truth campaigners calling out all of Hollywood’s real-life smokers was an interesting tactic. No, it’s not healthy, but all the photos they showed were paparazzi shots. It wasn’t like they were at events promoting their bad habits. I don’t want to sound like I’m defending smoking, but I think it’s dirty to pick on people’s personal lives that way.

* A little more than an hour into the show: still no Beyonce, a butt-ton of commercials, and a ridiculously slow program that seems to have been produced by the same people who did the BET Awards because that sound system was trash.

* Did anyone else think that Robin Williams tribute was a poor afterthought?

* Jennifer Lopez exists to make the rest of us look bad. I mean…


* Iggy Azalea recovered nicely from her fall the other day. She and Rita Ora sang “Black Widow,” which is only growing on me because I like the hook.

* I’m a huge, huge fan of dental hygiene. But the Crest White Strips commercial gave me pause. The example they used was mustard-yellow teeth. If your chompers are the same color as a tart condiment, you need more than over-the-counter white strips. Message.

* By this time, it’s 18 minutes until Beyonce, and I’m getting antsy.

* Chanel Iman, Joan Smalls and Jourdan Dunn, all from the “Yonce” video made an appearance on my feed dressed like Beyonce, Kim Kardashian and Miley Cyrus.

* Essence took us on a nostalgia trip. Never forget.

* Miley Cyrus, who literally showed her ass last year, did a beautiful thing and let a young, homeless man take the stage to accept her award. He spoke about the hardships he faces and the charity that he and Miley are working with to bring awareness to the cause, My Friend’s Place.

* Some douchebag earlier IG’d Beyonce’s playlist, so it wasn’t a surprise and I was pissed. That frustration quickly dissipated when Queen Bey took the stage with her mimes and sang “Mine.” Beyonce, in a leotard full of mirror shards wrecked shop. She went through the entire “Beyonce” album (which bangs, I must say). Had I not seen the On The Run show, I might have enjoyed the performance more. There were a couple of songs (“Mine,” “No Angel,” “Rocket”) that she didn’t perform in Chicago, so those were good to see. And though I was a little miffed she didn’t perform my song, “Superpower,” the last medley of “***Flawless,” “Blue” and “XO” were everything. She got choked up at the end, a beautiful moment. But what set it off for, I think, everyone was when Jay and Blue came up on stage to give her the award. I’m not a cryer, but this didn’t move you then you might need some counseling.


So, what did you think of the #BeyMAs? Was there a performance that stood out to you besides Beyonce’s?

The Magic of Bey (and Jay)

24 Jul

Their love is real. You'll never convince me otherwise.

Their love is real. You’ll never convince me otherwise.

Tonight, I’m going On the Run. I’m going twist my left hand back and forth. I’m going to uh-oh like there’s no tomorrow. And maybe I’ll see a few people rock a little Tom Ford (I’m not because I’m poor).

Yes, I’m going to the see Jay and Bey at Soldier Field in Chicago. I’ve seen them both separately, but this is the first time I and any of my friends will see them together. It’s going to be epic (an overused term, I know, but there’s no other way to describe it.

I wrote this post ahead of time, but I can already guarantee two things by the time this goes up: I’ve had maybe three hours of sleep and I’m going to be #Flawless tonight.

Why #Flawless? Because I’ve been preparing for Beyonce concerts for years. Example: A few years ago at an engagement party I wowed my friends with my knowledge of the “Get Me Bodied” moves. Yes, I can Naomi Campbell walk and snap for the kids. This same friend wanted to do a dance routine at her wedding reception. What song was on heavy rotation at the time? None other than “Single Ladies.” With only a day to rehearse, I’ve go to tell you we were pretty good.

I’ve been using music videos as mini workout programs for years. From Janet’s “Rhythm Nation” to Aaliyah’s “Are That Somebody” to Ciara’s “Body Party,” I’ve always tried to mimic the moves I saw on screen.

To me, dancing is an elite art form. I respect the training that goes into it. There is so much dedication involved with learning to position yourself just right in order to express music physically. Ballet, tap, jazz, even the dougie, it’s all about giving music form.

One of the things I learned on my weight-loss journey as it coincided with getting older is that when I was dancing, I was really working out. I haven’t been thin since puberty hit over 20 years ago. When I was dancing, though, my stomach was flatter, my thighs didn’t jiggle as much and stairs didn’t seem like such a problem.

I stopped dancing regularly after my junior year of college when graduating became more of a priority. It’s the one thing I wished I’d made more time for because it was so much fun.

And that takes us to Beyonce. I mean, we all saw this at the Super Bowl, right?


So tonight, I’m gonna party with the Rock Boys and let my Ego run free. I’ve seen some of the clips on Instagram, so I know the show’s gonna be amazeballs. But these are the songs I’ve been practicing in anticipation of tonight’s shenanigans. And these are the songs that must be played, lest the Carters feel my wrath (if they even care).

Single Ladies

Love on Top (because this is what joy looks like)

Baby Boy

Drunk in Love

Partition (because when I grow up, I want to dance like this girl)

Have you seen the show yet? What was your favorite part? Were you like me and danced like nobody was watching?

top photo courtesy of AP Images