I’m Skinny, Now What?

25 Oct

skinny_now_journeyI’ve lost all this weight, now what?

No one ever really tells you how this is supposed to go. You set a plan in motion to get somewhere, but you don’t plan on what to do when you get there.

It’s like going on vacation, but you’ve only planned the flight and hadn’t considered the hotel or transportation.

That’s how I feel most of the time. Over the past five years, I’ve been working out (then vegging out) in order to reach some semblance of an ideal weight. It all began, when during a routine check-up, I found out that I weighed 200 pounds.

I’m 5-foot-2. I come from a long line of curvy women and was raised in the Midwest. We love BBQ, fried anything and lounging with drinks in our hands. While this isn’t exclusive to my home region, it is one of our marked characteristics. However, I never thought I would let myself get that big.

After the shock and tears of my new predicament, I decided to take action. By take action, I mean I read up on what people do when they take action while I ate a brownie sundae. As long as I didn’t have one everyday, I was OK, right?

So I got a book, “Extreme Fat Smash Diet.” Then I started talking to my friends who were working out a lot. They were doing Fat Smash and going to the gym. I hate to sweat, so I needed another plan. Turns out Dr. Ian Smith wanted me to actually burn some calories, too.

Then I started really reading the book. While it seemed like a good idea, “extreme” is far from a misnomer. Your meals can consist of one egg and a half cup of juice for breakfast; a cup of sliced fruit for lunch; a small veggie-only salad for a late lunch; and veggies and beans for dinner. Not too appetizing. Oh, and lets not forget the hour of cardio that you’re doing four to six days a week.

These are not the things a couch potato likes to do. But then I hopped on the scale again and decided it was time to hop on the treadmill.

I joined a Ballys. My gym-rat ex-boyfriend and I went to one once, so I wasn’t unfamiliar territory. Plus this one was closer to my house.

The first step is always the hardest, but I started to get my energy up, despite the damage all the sweat was doing to my hair.

Then I picked the book back up and tried doing the plan. It took a few stop-and-go weeks, but I finally got on track. The book says that if you stick with it, you could lose up to five pounds a week. “Yeah, right,” I thought. I avoided the scale that first week, not wanting to be disappointed if nothing was happening. At the end of week one, I’d lost five pounds!

I started really feeling myself then. It was on and popping at the gym. By that time I had already planned on a trip to Puerto Rico, which required beach attire. I refused to be mistaken for a beached whale, so I got addicted. All told, I had lost 20 pounds in six weeks by the time I got to the beach.

Since then, I’ve been doing the diet off and on. Not long after another breakup, I lost another 25 pounds the healthy way.

Yo-yo dieting over the years has helped me drop a grand total of 60 pounds. However, I’m human; I’ve gained about five to 10 of those back.

For the most part, I’m comfortable with my current weight and the shape of my body. There are a few things that need tightening up, but no body is perfect.

And that is what this blog is about. I’m close enough to my goal weight that I feel I can talk about this with others: keeping it off ain’t easy, and once you’ve gotten comfortable, how do you adjust to the new you?

It was very weird looking at myself in the mirror after having lived in this body for more than 30 years. I was used to a certain jiggle in certain places. I’d gotten comfortable with shirts, pants and even bras fitting me a certain way. There were curves that were once my calling card. Who am I now without the body that I used to live in?

I want to address that and take you on my journey of self discovery as I try to move forward in the world while trying not to lose some of the things I liked about the old me.

I’ll be posting workout updates, recipes and stories about my experience. Let me know what you think. It’s an open forum into my life (Lord, help me!). I think it’s a journey that many of us are going on, but there’s not a lot of conversation about it. Let’s discuss.

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9 Responses to “I’m Skinny, Now What?”

  1. Em Chappell-Root December 7, 2013 at 9:55 am #

    I just found your blog via a link you left on an article about fat shaming actually hurting peoples ability control their eating and how it negatively impacts their ability to lose and control their weight. I’ve been sitting here reading for about 20 minutes, and I’m teary eyed. Thank you for writing this, you’re an inspiration. I’m a mom of 4, unemployed currently since a car accident and 6 week convalescence (stupid busted spleen) cost me my job (company was sold while I was written out, new owners filled my position). Due to depression and inability to do anything for several weeks, I’ve gained weight, and I wasn’t small to begin with. Now it’s so much worse, and the bigger I am, the harder it is to actually get up and do something about it, the weight makes me more tired and more ashamed. My excuse has always been “I’m too busy” or “I’ll do it when xyz happens”. Reading your blog, I know it doesn’t work that way. I knew it all along, but your blog has highlighted it. Between this and a friend who is running a 5K today after not being able to walk for a year due to surgery, I’m going to start doing again. Thank you, a thousand times, for inspiring me. So I’m about to put on my good sports bra, find my tennis shoes, and go for a walk around the apartment complex. It probably won’t be long, but reading about you running, I remember feeling that way myself and I want to feel that way again. I’ve got to walk before I run, and you have motivated me to do so. Thank you,
    Em in South Carolina. .

    • cicelyd December 7, 2013 at 10:57 am #

      Thanks, Em, for sharing your story. The first step is always the hardest, but I applaud you for taking it. It’s not going to be easy, but the act of taking steps toward your goal will be fulfilling. Good luck, and please keep me posted on your progress.

  2. Lauren October 25, 2013 at 8:51 pm #

    You’re an inspiration, Cicely! Sounds like life in the Big Apple is going great.

    • cicelyd October 25, 2013 at 9:10 pm #

      It’s going really well. Thanks, Lauren!!

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