The end is near, skinny people. At least for my single skinny people. The terrible season is upon us. Worse than that, Mother Nature has decided to be a hater and send another Polar Vortex our way a little early this year. Which can mean only one thing: Cuffing season is coming to a close.
What’s cuffing season? If you have to ask, you must be booed up. Good for you. You don’t have to do the seasonal merry-go-round of dating to find out who you’ll be cuddled up with come winter. Because winter is is most definitely coming. You won’t want to go outside in this.
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My disdain for the worst season ever is well documented. It’s cold, it’s rainy, and it makes my allergies act up. One of the other things I hate about this time of year is cuffing season. It’s like playing Duck-Duck-Goose as an adult…but with nighttime cuddling once the object of your affection is caught. Coupling cuffing season and fall together can keep a girl busy. Mostly, you’ve got to get your stores in order because you’ll be having company during those long winter nights.
It can be easy to fall back on old faithfuls like cookies and chips when you know that you and boo will be laid up in the house binging “Breaking Bad.” But wintertime is not the time to fall off track. Here are some things to keep in your cabinet for you and winter boo to snack on in the in-between time.
1. Hummus. I love hummus. Like…we have a thing. I am dedicated to Sabra’s Supremely Spicy Hummus. It’s the stuff dreams are made of. But instead of picking up a bag of pita chips, I suggest using colorful peppers as your dipping mechanism. Red and yellow peppers are the best, especially if they’re cold.
2. Popcorn. Olivia Pope may not be able to make up her mind between Jake and Fitz (pick Jake!!), but she does know a good nighttime snack combo: wine and popcorn. Instead of putting a bag in the microwave, you can pop your own kernels over the stove. It’s less sodium and you can control how much you make. And there’s nothing wrong with a glass of wine to top off the night.
3. Goldfish Crackers. I understand that my obsession with Xtra Cheddar Goldfish could, by some, be considered unstable. But I don’t care. I control my need to devour an entire bag by putting them into the smaller Ziploc bags. They’re great for portion control. Plus, if winter boo grabs one of the small bags, I don’t have to worry about him eating all my Goldfish. Cuz he might die.
4. Fruit. Summer is usually the best time for the good fruit like berries and melon. But fall and winter will give you some of the ripest apples and pears around. You can still hook up a nifty little fruit salad or just slice some of those suckers up and eat them with peanut butter. Because peanut butter is awesome.
Bonus: You two aren’t going to spend all your time in bed. Eventually you’re going to have to get up and consume actual food. Maybe you could cook together. Because nothing’s sexier than a man who can cook. So saute some tilapia. Roast some veggies. And finish off that bottle of wine. Because Winter is Coming and it has no patience for your deprived cabinets.
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