Tag Archives: goldfish

Winter Is Coming, Cuffing Season Is Over

14 Nov

The end is near, skinny people. At least for my single skinny people. The terrible season is upon us. Worse than that, Mother Nature has decided to be a hater and send another Polar Vortex our way a little early this year. Which can mean only one thing: Cuffing season is coming to a close.

What’s cuffing season? If you have to ask, you must be booed up. Good for you. You don’t have to do the seasonal merry-go-round of dating to find out who you’ll be cuddled up with come winter. Because winter is is most definitely coming. You won’t want to go outside in this.

snow

courtesy of Tumblr

My disdain for the worst season ever is well documented. It’s cold, it’s rainy, and it makes my allergies act up. One of the other things I hate about this time of year is cuffing season. It’s like playing Duck-Duck-Goose as an adult…but with nighttime cuddling once the object of your affection is caught. Coupling cuffing season and fall together can keep a girl busy. Mostly, you’ve got to get your stores in order because you’ll be having company during those long winter nights.

It can be easy to fall back on old faithfuls like cookies and chips when you know that you and boo will be laid up in the house binging “Breaking Bad.” But wintertime is not the time to fall off track. Here are some things to keep in your cabinet for you and winter boo to snack on in the in-between time.

1. Hummus. I love hummus. Like…we have a thing. I am dedicated to Sabra’s Supremely Spicy Hummus. It’s the stuff dreams are made of. But instead of picking up a bag of pita chips, I suggest using colorful peppers as your dipping mechanism. Red and yellow peppers are the best, especially if they’re cold.

2. Popcorn. Olivia Pope may not be able to make up her mind between Jake and Fitz (pick Jake!!), but she does know a good nighttime snack combo: wine and popcorn. Instead of putting a bag in the microwave, you can pop your own kernels over the stove. It’s less sodium and you can control how much you make. And there’s nothing wrong with a glass of wine to top off the night.

3. Goldfish Crackers. I understand that my obsession with Xtra Cheddar Goldfish could, by some, be considered unstable. But I don’t care. I control my need to devour an entire bag by putting them into the smaller Ziploc bags. They’re great for portion control. Plus, if winter boo grabs one of the small bags, I don’t have to worry about him eating all my Goldfish. Cuz he might die.

4. Fruit. Summer is usually the best time for the good fruit like berries and melon. But fall and winter will give you some of the ripest apples and pears around. You can still hook up a nifty little fruit salad or just slice some of those suckers up and eat them with peanut butter. Because peanut butter is awesome.

Bonus: You two aren’t going to spend all your time in bed. Eventually you’re going to have to get up and consume actual food. Maybe you could cook together. Because nothing’s sexier than a man who can cook. So saute some tilapia. Roast some veggies. And finish off that bottle of wine. Because Winter is Coming and it has no patience for your deprived cabinets.

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‘Snackpocolypse’

4 Sep

fod_snackEverybody snacks. It’s actually encouraged to keep your metabolism up. But while some people see a handful of almonds or some apple slices as ideal, others take to a back of Goldfish crackers and wash it down with a Cherry Coke.

Look, we’ve all slipped. But schools can sometimes be the worst. When I was in high school, my lunches consisted of cheese fries and a soda, chips and a soda, a soda or nothing at all. We had open lunch, so occasionally we’d go out and order Chinese food, McDonald’s, Taco Bell or Subway. Our menu options were…inadequate. We had a salad bar, but not a lot of veggie options (plus, I’ve never been a big fan of buffet lines). We had Domino’s delivered every day, but a daily slice of pizza was not always appetizing.

That was more than 15 years ago. Not much has changed. Some schools have done good work, and started their own snack bars. Others have banned soda machines. But not everyone has caught on. Many teens, faced with the opportunity to make their own decisions, will opt for a Snickers and an orange soda instead of some cucumber slices and some water for a snack. Honestly, a Snickers bar sounds more appetizing. Still it’s not always the right thing to do.

What kids need is someone to save them from themselves. They need a hero like Katniss or Tris. Or even Hit-Girl.

This video is hilarious, and not just because Michelle Obama wants to get back to watching “Frozen.” Chloe recognizing she’s not different from everyone else, she just likes apples? I died!

If you’ve got a teen, maybe they’ll get a kick out of this video, too. And maybe they’ll think twice about how that two-liter soda could turn them into a sugar zombie.

What did you think of the video? Have you ever turned into a sugar zombie?

photo courtesy of Funny or Die

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I’ma Be Your Motivation

16 Jan
someecards.com - I exercise just to make you feel bad about not exercising.

Hey, it’s a reason.

I talk a lot on this blog about the necessity of keeping up with your workout. I’ve also talked a lot about how I’m not perfect and my love of Goldfish crackers and comfy sofas make this hard, but I still persevere.

I do this to show that I did not wake up like dih. I am a flawed human being. I go through phases, like most people, where I’d rather sit and clear out my DVR or binge-watch “Breaking Bad” than go to the gym. Hell, it took me five hours from the time I got up this morning to start writing this post. You know what I did in the meantime: nada. I read a couple chapters of a book; I walked my dog; I watched “Dexter” on Netflix; I took a nap. None of those things, besides walking the dog, was something that needed to be done. I just didn’t feel like it.

And that’s a problem that you’ll face on your journey toward your goal. Some days, no matter what, you just won’t feel like it. Everything under the sun sounds more appealing than exercising. You know what’s more fun than spin class? Puppy cuddling. What’s more appealing than Zumba? Cookies and a “Game of Thrones” marathon.

So how do you get past the allure of being sedentary?

1. Just Go. Really, that’s the first step. It’s always the hardest, but it’s the most important. Not many people ever really want to go to the gym unless they’re being paid for it. If it’s not your job, then you have to find some other motivation. Even though I may have stayed up too late the night before or the dog was hacking all night, I’ll force myself out of bed and go to the gym. I tell myself that the 20 minutes I’m going to do on the elliptical are more than most people will do all day. Those 20 minutes can turn into 25. Then I hop on the stationary bike for 15 minutes, which turns into another 20. By then I’ve done 45 minutes. And since I can be a little OCD, I’ll do 15 minutes on the treadmill to make it a full hour. All that by just getting out of bed and going.

2. Plan Ahead. If you’ve already made your meals for the week, got your clothes set out and scheduled time, there’s little in your way to keep you from doing your workout. Sometimes we need a little structure in our lives. So if you can’t function without time limits, this is the step for you. Preparation is necessary in any weight-loss plan, anyway. You don’t go scuba diving without instructions. You don’t start a weight-loss plan without knowing what you’re getting into. Just prepare yourself, and you’re ready to stay on track.

3. Make It Quick. You don’t have to go hard to get in a good workout. I have some exercise DVDs at home that are only 30 minutes. That’s it: 30 minutes! What else are you doing today that you can’t take 30 minutes out of your day? Really, I’m asking. Some of you have kids and spouses and mortgages. I have none of that. I have a 12-year-old dog who sleeps all day in my apartment. It’s easy for me to take time out for a quick workout. Out of the 24 hours in the day, is every minute of them accounted for? If not, try to consolidate about 30 to do something good for yourself.

4. Reward Yourself. I think this comes from childhood, but I sometimes feel I don’t deserve treats until my chores are done. For example: I can’t leave to meet friends until my home is straightened up. I don’t get dessert until the dishes are in the dishwasher. I haven’t earned that new dress until spin class is over. For me, it’s about earning points for a treat. So what do you do to treat yourself? Maybe you want the 10-minute massage after your mani-pedi. Well, you’ve got to earn it.

5. Take Pride in Doing Something Others Aren’t. I know this is bad, but it helps keep me motivated. When I leave the gym and have to go to the grocery store, there’s a little bit of pride that comes with my sweat stains. That pride comes from knowing I look awful, but I look awful for a reason. There are people at the store who look bad because it’s Tuesday. You’ve earned your worn-out look. Wear that badge with pride.

6. Vision/Pinterest Board It. What’s the light at the end of your tunnel? A good way to stick with any plan is to have a set of goals to achieve. If you plan on being beach-ready by summer, the best time to start is now. If you have a wedding in the fall, remember that fittings start in the summer. Put up pictures of what you want, be it a vacation in Nice or a destination wedding in St. Barths. Keep a reminder to yourself that you have a goal you need to achieve.

Women’s Health magazine compiled a list last year of a few things people need to do to stay on track. What do you do to keep yourself motivated?

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One Fish, Two Fish, I Love Goldfish

9 Dec
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Really. I just…I have no words.

If you are what you eat, then I am a bag of Pepperidge Farm Flavor Blasted Xtra Cheddar Goldfish crackers. Saying I love them doesn’t quite describe how I feel about the salty goodness that comes with each bite.

Things are so bad that I have to bypass the cracker aisle at the grocery store so as not to tempt myself. Sometimes, though, a girl just needs a bag of goldfish.

I’m aware that it’s a problem. It’s my vice. Just writing this, I want to go pick up a bag (or four). It’s helpful that they’ve gone up in price, because a few years ago I could buy 10 bags for $10. It was insane how many I not only had in my house, but how fast I could go through them. I’d shovel them like it was my last meal.

I thought about immersion therapy. You know, eating so many at once that I’d just get sick of them. But that didn’t work; I just ended up with cheese dust covering everything. No one wants to walk around looking like an orange pylon all the time.

So what to do? It’s no use denying myself the foods you enjoy when I want them. I don’t crave them all the time; but it doesn’t hurt to have a handful ready when the mood hits.

That goes for all cravings. Everyone has their fave type of junk food. For me it’s goldfish crackers, but for others it’s cookies, cupcakes, potato chips, etc. A handful won’t kill you. Eighteen handfuls, however, might be a bit of a problem.

When First Lady Michelle Obama started her Let’s Move! campaign to combat childhood obesity, some questioned how that could be reconciled with the holidays. Sure, we people could follow the initiatives pillars of healthy eating and physical activity during most of the year. But the holidays call for turkey, gravy, football and pie.

The best way to alleviate that guilt is just not to weigh yourself down with it. If you enjoy cookies, have a couple. If you like chips, have some. Just don’t let that be all you eat. These foods were created to be as snacks, not meals.

One of the things it took me a while to learn while on this weight-loss journey was the difference between cravings and hunger. Cravings can be alleviated easily if it’s not caused by hunger. For example, if I’m craving a handful of cheese-dust crackers, I’ll drink a large glass of water and chew some gum. If I’m still feenin’ it after the flavor has worn off on my Orbit Bubblemint, it’s time for some crackers. There’s no harm in water and chewing gum, and I’m not overeating.

Once you’ve learned to separate your cravings from hunger, the weight-loss journey becomes more tolerable. You find a way to keep yourself sane when a cookie craving comes along. I know it took me some time, but I hope that’s not the case for you.

What are some of your vices and how do you keep your cravings in check?

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