Yonce Taught me

4 Aug

SAM_2641Editor’s note: This recap is late as I went to the On the Run tour stop in Chicago a couple weeks ago. I’ve been in the middle of my own three-city tour, so I haven’t had time to write up a post about the show. Anyway, here’s what I learned from the Carters.

1. Traffic is stressful. What should have been an hour-and-a-half drive to Soldier Field ended up being three hours, two if which were spent in standstill traffic. It turns out when the Obamas want to see Bey and Jay, the rest of us have to bow down and wait for Secret Service to secure the area. The good news is that the show started late, so we only missed the first 10 minutes.

2. ‘Tom Ford’ is a great stress reliever. My friend and I were rightfully pissed to have to wait so long to get into the show, but somehow Jay Z telling us to “clap for a n—- with yo trappin’ ass” put us right on easy street.

Beyonce (and I) sang ‘Ex-Factor’…and it was everything.

3. There’s nothing like a sing along. Belting “Resentment” is great. Shouting it at the top of your lungs with 61,000 of your new besties is even better. Also, seeing what you look like when you’re belting one of your favorite songs is what Oprah calls an ah-ha moment.

4. Dance like no one’s watching. Sure, I was surrounded by thousands of people. But I’ve been practicing my Beyonce moves for a while and I got bodied with the best of them. As is always the case when I’m in Chicago, it was chilly. But my fellow fans kept the stadium nice and warm with all their dancing, too.

5. You can sleep and still grind. I’m thoroughly convinced that the Carters haven’t slept since 1998. They took the phrase “you sleep, we grind” too literally because it’s evident in the amount of work they put into the show. Of course, they didn’t physically do the lighting or the sound. They didn’t choreograph all the routines. But their stamps are imprinted on every minutia of the show. They’re the hardest working couple in show business and eventually they’re going to run out of juice. Don’t let that be you. Take time to enjoy what you’re doing. Work hard, but enjoy the fruits of your labor.

6. It takes a village. With that, recognize that they have teams of people helping them achieve their success. Temper your expectations when you tell yourself you want a body like Bey’s or Les Twins (her fine, French dancers). That takes a lot of time and will not happen over night.

7. Power of positive influence. One of the things I noticed is how much more toned Jay is. Most of us remember Jay of the ’90s. Lanky, but a little doughey. Modern-era Jay seems to be taking a keener interest in his health. He even went vegan for a month last year. That’s always nice to see.

8. One monkey doesn’t stop a show. Back in the old days of 2004, Jay-Z was on tour with R. Kelly. They had a falling out and R. Kelly left the tour. I had tickets to see them both, so I was a little concerned about what was going to happen. Right after R-uh left, Jay announced it would be him and friends. It was like a circus, with Mary J. Blige, Ciara, Bone Crusher, Lil Jon, Lil Scrappy, and a bunch of other Lil people. Jay told us he promised us a show and, “One m—f— monkey don’t stop no show.” I say all that to say the Carters are professionals. Whatever issues they’re having at home, people paid a lot of money to see them on stage together and they will honor that commitment. Anything else is none of my business.

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My Food, My Choice

31 Jul

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One of the things you’ll notice on your weight-loss journey is the way people nitpick at your own food. After you’ve lost a significant amount of weight, friends and family will pay more attention to your diet.

Once upon a time, you’d eat half a pizza and a dozen wings by yourself. Now you’re fine with a slice or two and some water. You used to be the one who’d order the giant steak with a side of butter and dab of potato. Now a shrimp salad and dressing on the side suits you just fine.

Your diet has changed; good for you. One if the hard parts now is getting the rest of your peeps to accept that when you decided to go on your weight-loss journey, you made a life decision. You changed the way you live your life, and that’s difficult for others to accept.

You may have heard: “You’re eating half your dinner? I could never do that. That must be why you’re so skinny.” Or even: “You’re making me feel bad. I’m ordering the lasagna while you’re just getting the salad.”

The thing is your food choices are yours alone. You’re not eating to make others feel bad. If your dinner companion is hungry for a pound and a half of steak, then that person has every right to eat it, just as your salad with a side of sweet potato fries are your digestive right.

People who try to make you feel guilty for not eating the way you used to are only projecting their own issues with food and weight-loss onto you. Don’t let them get into your head and make you regret all the good work you’re doing.

I’ve been told several times that the way I eat isn’t  for another person. That may be true, but actually I eat what I want. I just don’t have a strong desire for bad things anymore. 

That all goes back to the concept of perception versus reality. The memory of how you used to be doesn’t quite jibe with what your friends and family see before them. It’s a hard concept for some people to grasp. To many, being mindful of your health means giving up everything. Not only is that untrue, it’s bad press.

When I began my weight-loss journey, it was like being in training. When you’re training, you cut out some things altogether. When you’re maintaining, you can add a few indulgences back into your diet. You’re just more mindful of what you’re eating. I can mentally estimate how many calories I’m consuming versus the amount of exercise I’ve done to burn them. But that took years of practice.

If that’s not for you, try a food journal. If you know what you’re putting into your body, you’ll know how much work you need to do to maintain or work off the pounds.

So enjoy your small plates of food. And remember, no one else is fueling your body but you.

How have you changed the way you eat? Have those close to you been positive about it?

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A Taste of Home

28 Jul
Home of many tasty things.

Home of many tasty things.

Right now I’m in the middle of what I’m calling a three-city tour. It started with Chicago and hanging out with the Carters and a few of my Chi-town friends. Now I’m back in my hometown of St. Louis (STL, dog!) to visit friends and family before going to Boston for a conference.

Going on vacation means taking a break from your routine. My routine is work-gym-home. Sometimes it’s run-work-grocery store-home. It keeps me focused on maintaining my fitness level and not getting too distracted in a city full of distractions. Vacation throws all of that out of the window.

When I go to Chicago, I always get Garett Popcorn. I prefer the mix of caramel and cheddar popcorn, but others just like plain butter. Doesn’t matter because is good old corn sullied by sodium and corn syrup. And it’s delicious. An entire bag is probably my daily allotment of calories, but when I have it, I’m in heaven.

Next comes home. Let me explain to you a few things about St. Louis food: my dad makes the best smoked barbecue ever, you’ve never had good Chinese food until you’ve had it at ahometown hole in the wall, the best White Castle on the planet is smack dab in the middle of the hood, and no one makes a thin-crust pizza like Imo’s.

None of this is good for me: we coat our barbecue in sauce in St. Louis, filling ourselves with overprocessed tomato sauce; the Chinese food is full of MSG and sodium; and the White Castle is…White Castle.

I hadn’t been home in almost a year, so I have to get my fill of the good stuff while I’m here. But I’m going to have to work even harder to maintain some modicum of restraint around my hometown comfort foods.

I learned this lesson in Rio. We were eating all the wrong things and laying out on the beach everyday. One day we were out for lunch and found a spot with a salad bar. We thought we were in heaven. Leafy greens, tomatoes, beets, carrots, balsamic vinegar. It was like an angel chorus was singing to us as we filled our plates.

That’s what’s probably going to happen as I begin the third leg of my tour in Boston. I’ll have to cleanse myself with steamed vegetables, baked fish and snackable cashews. But in the meantime, I’ll have my running shoes with me. A lot of my folks back home have started working out again. I’ll be surrounded by people who are taking active care of their health, so I won’t be led too far astray.

Ten years ago, not many of us were taking good care of ourselves. Sure, there were a few who’d maintained their high-school athleticism. But a lot of us let our slovenly ways take over. I’m glad that I’ve stayed in contact with such hard-working people who want to do better for themselves.

If you live away from your hometown, what’s your go-to comfort food? How do you reconcile your desire for a taste of home with your need to maintain a healthy lifestyle?

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The Magic of Bey (and Jay)

24 Jul

Their love is real. You'll never convince me otherwise.

Their love is real. You’ll never convince me otherwise.


Tonight, I’m going On the Run. I’m going twist my left hand back and forth. I’m going to uh-oh like there’s no tomorrow. And maybe I’ll see a few people rock a little Tom Ford (I’m not because I’m poor).

Yes, I’m going to the see Jay and Bey at Soldier Field in Chicago. I’ve seen them both separately, but this is the first time I and any of my friends will see them together. It’s going to be epic (an overused term, I know, but there’s no other way to describe it.

I wrote this post ahead of time, but I can already guarantee two things by the time this goes up: I’ve had maybe three hours of sleep and I’m going to be #Flawless tonight.

Why #Flawless? Because I’ve been preparing for Beyonce concerts for years. Example: A few years ago at an engagement party I wowed my friends with my knowledge of the “Get Me Bodied” moves. Yes, I can Naomi Campbell walk and snap for the kids. This same friend wanted to do a dance routine at her wedding reception. What song was on heavy rotation at the time? None other than “Single Ladies.” With only a day to rehearse, I’ve go to tell you we were pretty good.

I’ve been using music videos as mini workout programs for years. From Janet’s “Rhythm Nation” to Aaliyah’s “Are That Somebody” to Ciara’s “Body Party,” I’ve always tried to mimic the moves I saw on screen.

To me, dancing is an elite art form. I respect the training that goes into it. There is so much dedication involved with learning to position yourself just right in order to express music physically. Ballet, tap, jazz, even the dougie, it’s all about giving music form.

One of the things I learned on my weight-loss journey as it coincided with getting older is that when I was dancing, I was really working out. I haven’t been thin since puberty hit over 20 years ago. When I was dancing, though, my stomach was flatter, my thighs didn’t jiggle as much and stairs didn’t seem like such a problem.

I stopped dancing regularly after my junior year of college when graduating became more of a priority. It’s the one thing I wished I’d made more time for because it was so much fun.

And that takes us to Beyonce. I mean, we all saw this at the Super Bowl, right?

beyonce

So tonight, I’m gonna party with the Rock Boys and let my Ego run free. I’ve seen some of the clips on Instagram, so I know the show’s gonna be amazeballs. But these are the songs I’ve been practicing in anticipation of tonight’s shenanigans. And these are the songs that must be played, lest the Carters feel my wrath (if they even care).

Single Ladies

Love on Top (because this is what joy looks like)

Baby Boy

Drunk in Love

Partition (because when I grow up, I want to dance like this girl)

Have you seen the show yet? What was your favorite part? Were you like me and danced like nobody was watching?

top photo courtesy of AP Images

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One Time for the Little People

21 Jul

Meet Kacy Cantanzaro.

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She’s my new hero. Kacy is an athlete like you’ve never seen. She’s 5’0″, barely 100 pounds and she is a mother-effing beast. Kacy competed on NBC’s “American Ninja Warrior” and wrecked shop. On four different obstacle courses, she barely stumbled. She faced each task at her own pace and killed shit.

In a conversation with pop-culture site Vulture.com, Kacy says “I … wanted to make these big steps for everyone, for all the women out there and for everybody else that thinks that they can’t do something or that they have an excuse.”

She has. Kacy is a little dynamo. She’s a NCAA Division 1 gymnast, so she was already used to heavy competition. She just wanted to challenge herself a bit more.

And that’s what we can all learn from her. This is the second time she’s competed on the show. The first time didn’t go as well as she’d liked, so she tried again. She continued to train to meet her goal. Nowhere in the interview does she say she wanted to just make it to this round. Kacy is a competitor. Her boyfriend/trainer even acknowledges this in while she’s on the course. An “American Ninja Warrior” participant himself, he calls her “the best competitor I’ve ever met.”

Not the best female competitor, but the best competitor. Kacy accomplished something no other woman has done on the show. And she’s not even done yet. The fact that she’s a woman was brought up several times by the hosts. I tried not to let that bother me so much. The fact that she’s small seemed to be a disadvantage, at least to the hosts. But watching the video, it seemed like a benefit. Kacy is small and light. Sure, running up the vertical would require great thigh strength, but she’s a gymnast so that’s taken care of. That thing with the poles would seem difficult if you had to stretch, but she’s light so she can leap.

Kacy took what would seem like disadvantages and used them to her advantage. She even had a great response for the Vulture interviewer who brought up her height as a disadvantage.  “Obviously, I’ve been on the shorter side my whole life, so I just know that sometimes I need to make adjustments and find my own way to do it,”

Obviously.

You don’t have to be in any major competition to feel the need to prove something to yourself. If you are still on your weight-loss journey or even if you’re trying to maintain, you are still in competition, only with yourself. Your are trying to meet your goals and you will hit some roadblocks. They may not be the quad steps (the first part of the obstacle course). Your goals could be breaking a 10-minute mile, running up a set of steps, pressing 100 pounds or even getting into a headstand at yoga.

It doesn’t matter what your goals are. It matters what you’re willing to do to achieve them. Kacy was willing to go on a strict diet and train for two years straight to prove to herself and inspire others that women could compete at the top levels on this insane show.

I’d never watched the show before I saw the clip. Now that Kacy is moving forward, I really want to see what else she can do.

What are you willing to do to get to the next level for you health, your fitness or even your training?

Kacy competed in the Dallas quarterfinals. Tonight’s episode goes to my hometown of St. Louis. I’ll be watching on NBC.

photo courtesy of NBC

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